HOW TO BUY AND TO USE A CONDOM
Written by Bert Plomp
Translated by Helena Clarkson
Our true passion in life of course was football and collecting pictures of football teams and football matches.
During this time when we played a lot of football in our neighborhood slowly but surely we would also pay attention to some girls that were around watching the game. After playing football a few of the boys and girls would meet in the tiny bus-stop structure of number 4. Two girls in particular would always show up there. They were daughters of the milkman who lived on Kingstreet.
What started in the bus stop building with some pulling and pushing exercises, this then was followed up with some touching of each other’s bodies and it were mostly the boys who seriously examined these girls for differences between boy and girl anatomy. Future physicians no doubt!
Especially the youngest as well as smallest of these two milkman’s daughters seemed eager to help increase the boys knowledge of medical science.
Another good opportunity to be able to study the female body from close up would be in the summertime in and around the swimming pool. In the summer when the weather was good we went to the “Kromme Rijn” swimming pool, located along the river of the same name. There around the pool area we were able to lie close against our favorite girls and helpfully rubbed their backs carefully but thoroughly with sun screen oil. We were a thoughtful lot indeed.
Only the back side was allowed to be touched, as the girls did think their chests were way too personal an item for boys to be handled at this time.
Still even the light physical contact of gently rubbing the skin of a pretty girl was a rather titillating experience and got you one step closer to may be even going all the way some day?
At the end of spending a sunny day at the pool you left the area and felt all your intense handy work had been somewhat successful and when you happily rode home hand in hand on the bike back to town with your favorite girl; you somehow could not help notice the fact that the less attractive girls as well as girls that were more cautious about mingling with boys, seemed to be more prone to red burned shoulders and backs perhaps?
In school we attended PE (physical education) and during this time in the Netherlands swimming played a major part there in; so once a week, our whole class would go swimming in the indoor pool “Den Hommel” in district “Oog in Al”.
Us boys really liked to excel at these PE classes, besides keeping us fit, it also gave us a good opportunity to improve our knowledge regarding the female body.
It was extremely popular pastime by us boys of accidentally on purpose run fast through the girl’s dressing rooms and shower areas, while screaming loud war cries on the top of our lungs.
Once inside the pool we managed to make some brief bodily contact underwater and seemingly by accident of course.
We would deep dive under water use our hands to find the face or perhaps lightly touch the body of the girl you had your eyes on. Slowly but surely I managed through this banal method, to increasingly show more interest in girls than in football even.
Still, it took at least 2 more years that I felt I had enough practical experience under my belt, so that I hopefully would be able to totally satisfy a member of the opposite sex soon.
On one of my “cellar” (popular hangouts for young people then) trips in the Centrum of the city of Utrecht I had come across a gorgeous blonde named Ellen. Ellen resembled one of the ladies of those educational Swedish magazines but in her case she was demurely dressed.
Her daddy was a dentist who had a practice on the Maliesingel (the name of another city moat). You would hardly feel ashamed to bring a girl like that home to meet your parents. Well not really, as my parents were sufficiently old fashioned that you could not bring a girl you might be intimate with, home yet. Even though they never truly mentioned what could happen to me if I had any sexual affair with a girl at an early age, they did give me a vague explanation that the chance of going blind was a huge possibility!
Our house was really not a good place for wining and dining any girl for that matter, which made all my plans for romance an impossibility.
Hindsight being 20/20 I could have gone around the back and perhaps made a fast detour to show the girl of my dreams, my bedroom perhaps?
My blonde Venus and I were now dating heavily for a couple of weeks and were slowly but surely getting to the “it’s now or never” part of our romance.
I was seriously preparing myself for this special occasion for several days now. I only had a vague idea that in order to accomplish the big deed, we should be pushing our lower body parts against each other but never to do this without wearing a so called condom.
The first road-block, was of course that condom. How could you actually purchase one of them? I mean I could hardly show my face at “Aunt Greet” the chemist shop in the Lodewijk Napoleon Park, the district where I lived in those days, and try to purchase preventive needs there.
Aunt Greet however was way too close a friend of my parents and to purchase this item from her store would certainly have serious consequences for me.
Lucky for me I was acquainted with an even closer friend called Gerrit.
Gerrit lived on Kingstreet and he was a “bestekzoeker” for the wood store Malba.
A “bestekzoeker” has something to do with handling a bundle of wood for different businesses.
Gerrit somehow was experienced finding these wood bundles for resale, but what was way more important, he was ten years older than myself; so old enough to be buying a condom without anyone daring to ask incriminating questions.
All this said and done, Ellen and I walked this particular evening in the direction of the viaduct over the river Kromme Rijn not too far away from the stadium Galgenwaard in our district where our meeting of body and mind was eventually supposed to take place.
At the same time my friend, Gerrit with the much-needed condom in his trouser pocket, followed us discretely at a safe and respectful distance.
Since it was November the time of year was cold and wet, but under the viaduct you would be guaranteed to remain dry at least, but such a place lacked the certain ambiance needed to make this first attempt somewhat romantic.
In other words, it was really not a very ideal place. Nowadays we all know how important it is to make this first try at sex a satisfying experience for both parties concerned. All the same, Gerrit my partner in crime, manage to nonchalantly hand over this preventive device in the nick of time and then disappeared silently in the dark.
To put on a condom is not a very complicated task, in contrast to this what followed was a hellavu lot more problematic.
Come to think of it, it turned out to be a terrible fiasco. After perhaps a half hour of useless pushing against each other with our lower body parts to no avail, we decided to leave well enough alone and return home.
To be sure, I kept the condom on for a long time afterwards. Not exactly sure whether I wanted to give it another try later on perhaps or that I wanted be 100 percent sure that Ellen was not pregnant. Besides you heard so many strange stories in those days, you just didn’t want to take any chances.
Shortly after Ellen I was dating Ineke and Tineke, two Op Art girls.
Both girls were very sweet as well as -quite pretty too. Ineke had black hair and had an Indian background and Tineke was very blond.These girls did not mind to share a boyfriend, while I didn’t mind romancing two pretty girls at the same time either.
I did not hurt my ego either to be seen in the company of these gorgeous girls. Needless to say I visited many place in Utrecht to show them off, proud as a peacock.
With Ineke, she was the daughter of a professor, I have had an especially nice incident happen at home in the Lodewijk Napoleon Park.
I had mentioned to my parents I was planning to bring my girlfriend home to have Easter breakfast with us.
In those days when I was about 17 year of age, it happened often that I would be gone all weekend on my Tomos, my pride and joy. A Tomos was a Harley-Davidson lookalike moped in those days.
So that is why after sleeping somewhere else the night before and Ineke on the back of my moped we arrived at 11am in the morning. Inside in the dining area, I looked in total amazement at the breakfast table.
The table was beautifully set with not only a bundle of delicious dishes, but also linen serviettes and tiny finger bows with fragrant lemon water even. Before this I only had seen anything similar at the TV shows like “Upstairs Downstairs”.
How my parents decided about trying to make such an elegant impression like in “keeping up appearances” was truly a surprise to me.
I suppose if you have to entertain a daughter of a professor though, it is indeed necessary to put on a bit of pomp and circumstance perhaps.