THAT SMELLS SPICY
Written by Bert Plomp
In recent decades, much effort has been put into making people, young and old, dependent on society. Subsequently, they are categorized and assisted based on their needs. Those who initiated this development have thus created their own employment and are now making a good living from it. It’s not surprising, therefore, that our country is now teeming with individuals who are considered ‘misfits.’ People who all need care and attention. All these poor souls are burdened with problems and carry a backpack with them. A backpack that the government, or the hardworking Dutch people, periodically fills with a hefty sum. The government hopes to help all those in need function as normally as possible, both in school and in society.
The money from all these backpacks then ends up in the deep pockets of those who have labeled certain children as problem children and certain people as problem individuals. The generous helping hand, of course, places the blame for all the misfortune on the evil, capitalist industry. On those selfish entrepreneurs who have ruined all these poor people. Filled them with fatty, sugary, and gluten-rich food. Damaged their bodies with alcohol and tobacco.
On the other hand, individuals wanted a bit more attention from their fellow human beings. This led to the widespread desire to form groups. Groups that sought recognition for the common problem of their members. After all, strength lies in unity, and shared sorrow is half sorrow. This desire was particularly strong among women. Among the members of ’the weaker sex,’ various groups were quickly established. Representative bodies such as the CUM group, namely the group of consciously unmarried mothers. The CSM group: the group of consciously single mothers. The WGTM group: the group of women going through menopause. The WMU group: women missing a uterus. And of course, by far the largest and most influential group, the WPU group: women possessing a uterus.
By the way, we can now state that due to the emancipation of women and the ‘demancipation’ of men, women can more rightfully claim the title of ’the strong sex’ than the ‘modern man.’ In beta education, you now find more girls than boys. In further education, boys increasingly choose a fun package or no package at all because they want to be househusbands. Gradually, girls take over the positions of boys. However, the downside of this development is that some girls now dare to harass someone on the street. They now also use violence, hitting or even stabbing someone.
You see a similar development in sports. The Dutch are not known for their killer mentality, as is the case ‘bei unseren Nachbarn.’ In a certain sense, this is not something to worry about. What’s beautiful is that our women now win many medals, while our men increasingly leave empty-handed. When it comes to men, we have become a nation with weak knees. The once ’tough’ VOC mentality is nowhere to be found in the current generation of men. There is no trace of the mindset of ‘men of standing.’ Of men who once, with a knife clenched between their teeth, conquered the world’s seas. Men who went ashore far from home to beat the local natives to the ground. There is actually an opposite development. Isn’t it a very bad sign that women, girls, and the elderly are harassed on the street? That male witnesses are too scared to intervene.
Although the Netherlands often manages to participate in the European Championship and the World Cup with top footballers, it repeatedly goes wrong at a decisive moment, and Orange fails to bring the cup home. Multiple times, they lost in a clumsy manner in the last minutes. As soon as the modern orange lion is eliminated, armed with a beauty case, it goes to an exotic beach at the supporter’s expense. Once there, it spends the whole day admiring its richly applied tattoos. These tattoos are supposed to evoke the tough, historical image of the sea hero with a knife between his teeth. Unfortunately, the beauty case somewhat stands out in this context.
You also see more and more men carrying a baby. If they’re not pushing a stroller, they have the infant strapped to their chest in a sling. It won’t be long before evolution leads them to breastfeed their child themselves. These are the same men who consider it entirely normal to attend pregnancy gymnastics with their wives. That they sit next to their wives, puffing together.
The softer society is also evident in a crisis situation. As soon as something serious happens in the Netherlands, an emergency team is immediately formed. Psychological and social caregivers immediately claim a leading role. Under their auspices, meetings are then organized for people in need of mental support. On such evenings, you mainly, if not exclusively, see adults. Adults who seek comfort from each other and from professional caregivers. On the way to such a gathering, these people walk with an expression on their faces as if evil has personally befallen them. While it happened to someone else. Someone they usually don’t even know. Moreover, you rarely or never see that other person at such a ‘comfort meeting.’
I often wonder what adulthood stands for nowadays. For me, adulthood is a characteristic when you can, for example, deal with unpleasant issues. When you can help your children process sad experiences. If things go a bit wrong, the crisis team might also organize a ‘silent march.’ What good does that do? If it’s a serious crime, go to the building where that villain is locked up. Protest loudly there and try to get the scoundrel, figuratively speaking, extradited. Surely, no one loses sleep over such a silent march. It doesn’t wake anyone up. Especially not the criminal. In the Netherlands, we are easily upset nowadays. If the queen lets out a fart, the emergency troops are on the move again. Like any other human being, the queen farts several times a day. That’s nothing special. I can somewhat understand that a firm belly wind from the old queen can cause a stir. A fart from Maxima, on the other hand, will not hit as hard. She is still young and much more of the people. A wind, escaped from her beautiful behind, simply smells better and is therefore much easier to digest mentally.